Idiocy
by Free Beloved Army
Summary: You hate it when he's mad. Especially when you're the reason he's mad, which is, unfortunately, quite often. But you also know that his anger comes from concern and fear for you, which actually makes you feel worse, but at the same time makes you feel better, you guess? It's confusing. But the point is you know that he's angry because he loves you, and that's all you need.


You're not entirely sure why, but right now you are soaked to the bone, lying on your back on what you're _assuming_ is sand, with a frantic seadweller leaning over you. At least, you think they're a seadweller. Yes, they are definitely a seadweller; they have the cute little fins on either side of their head, there is no doubt in your mind they are a seadweller.

Whoever the seadweller is looks really concerned, and you're pretty sure they're saying something, but you're a little out of it and it takes you a moment to clear your head enough to pay attention. When you do you recognise the troll above you immediately, and can't help grinning a little. For some reason your arm feels really heavy - scratch that, your _everything_ feels heavy - so you can't really wave at him like you were intending, which kind of sucks because now you have to interrupt whatever he's going on about, but whatever, you haven't been listening anyway.

"Hey Eribro."

"Gam! Fuck, I thought you were _dead_, you idiot!" His eyes are narrowing in anger now that, you guess, he knows you're fine, and you purse your lips slightly, trying to think of why he'd think you were dead. It seems like a silly thing to think, considering you feel pretty motherfucking alive, if not a bit drowsy. You kind of wish you could sit up, though, but as stated before your entire body feels like it's supporting the weight of Alternia, and you're pretty comfortable where you are anyway, so you don't try. You do talk, though, because Eridan looks like he wants to snap your horns off, and that's the last thing you want. That would _hurt_.

"Now why would I be all up and motherfucking dead?"

"I don't know; why don't _you_ tell _me_ why the fuck you were unconscious in the fuckin' water?! You're lucky I saw you before someone's lusus ate you! And before you _drowned_! Jesus, Gam, what were you thinkin'?! That you'd take a nice little nap in the water and hope you stayed afloat?! You're lucky you're _not_ dead, you ignorant bastard!" You watch him as he rants on, not really paying attention to what he says as you're too preoccupied by the fact that you're surprised the heat of his anger isn't causing the little drops of water clinging to his skin to sizzle off. The thought makes you smile, which is a drastic mistakes as seconds later you're yelping from the harsh whack you receive on your arm. "This is fuckin' _serious_, Gam! Why the hell are you smilin'?!"

"Aww, bro, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make a brother scared or anything." He scowls at you when you pout pitifully, and seconds later he's standing up, grumbling under his breath about what sounds like the idiocy of some trolls. You hope that means he's forgiven you, at least to a degree, and struggle to sit up. The heavy feeling has started to disappear, although all of your muscles hurt, and with some difficult - and Eridan's help, although he bitches the entire time about how he should leave you to your struggles as punishment for your complete and utter stupidity. Jeez, he sure is talented at nagging - you manage to get to your feet. You sway on the spot for a minute, and Eridan's brow furrows in concern as he grabs your arms to hold you steady.

"Don't want you hittin' your head and damaging what little of your sorry excuse of a think-pan you got left." He mumbles before whacking your opposite arm and releasing you. You rub the new injury gingerly and whine, confused. He doesn't have to _hit_ you. He really should just chill, too much anger can't be good for any troll. Maybe you'll offer him one of your pies later, when he's not fuming quite so much.

"I'm sorry." He huffs and turns his nose up at your apology, and you pout again before hugging him. Partly to try and creep around him, because he's probably going to be grumpy for a while, and he hates kissing, or affection in general, when he's mad - which sucks, because he's mad _a lot_ and you really like kissing - and partly because you feel a little dizzy. Maybe you can see why he's so upset; you're not feeling too hot right now, and you'd probably feel worse had you been in the water any longer. But you nuzzle your nose against his fin and hug his shoulders tight anyway, because the heat the radiates off his face when you do feels really nice and makes you giggle. You're a little tempted to pull back and look, because he's adorable when his face flushes with colour, but you decide against it and just let your think-pan clear up. When you're sure you can stand without falling over you pull back and smile sheepishly at him. He glares back at you for the longest moment before sighing and grabbing your wrist, walking you up the beach.

"Come on, we shouldn't be too far from you hive." You grin and follow him, hoping this is a good sign. He rarely comes to your hive, because it's apparently an '_absolute rubbish tip_', normally preferring to have you come to his. Which you don't mind, except you have to ride his weird lusus to get there, and you're not really comfortable being so far off the ground; a small price to pay to please your fussy seadweller, you guess, so you bear with it. But really, how can he spend so much time riding that thing? He must have a lot of practise with it. (Which should really go without saying since it's _his_ lusus, come on.) Or maybe he only ever rides it above water; there'd be no problem if _he_ fell into the sea. You guess you'll never know.

Before you know it you're both in your hive, and he's ordering you to sit down before his lip curls in disgust at the mess around you. Faygo bottles and pie trays and clothing and wow, okay, you guess you can kinda see why he's so disgusted by your hive. It is a _little_ messy. In your own defense you didn't know he would be coming over; you would have been sure to clean up a bit otherwise. Oh well, nothing to really do about it now. He seems to have taken on the cleaning duties anyway, which you're not really going to protest to, telling you to stay put and _rest_ (he put emphasis on the 'rest', though you don't know why because you've never turned down a nap before) before he goes off to tidy your hive. You lie down and watch him, and find yourself grinning as he works his way quickly through your mess. He's complaining to himself under his breath, and actually shrieks when he finds a month old stack of half-eaten pies underneath one of your shirts. He promptly throw it all away, visibly shuddering, and you feel kinda bad for him. You really like that shirt, though; there was no need for him to throw it out. Oh well.

"There, done. _Finally_." You're not sure when you dozed off, but you must have at some point because you're rudely awoken by Eridan walking into your now clean room with a look of satisfaction on his face. Your hive smells funny, and you wrinkle your nose slightly, sitting up slowly and looking around. Wow, he really went all out, didn't he?

"What the motherfucking smell in here?"

"_That_, Gam, is what _cleanliness_ smells like. I realise it's a foreign smell to you, but really, try to get used to it. And don't even _think_ about lettin' your hive get into the horrible state it was before, or I swear to God I will fuckin' cull you." He doesn't mean that; he's used the same threat the last several times he's cleaned your hive - which, now that you think about it, has been a lot of times - and you simply smile in response, nodding before wrinkling your nose again. You're not sure you like cleanliness if it smells like this. "Stop makin' faces, it's the smell of cleanin' products; open a window, the smell will be gone in a couple hours." You nod slowly, looking around your hive once more before looking at him and grinning.

"Will you? Or are you gonna stay and keep me company?" He narrows his eyes at you, almost like he's warning you not to try any of your charming bullshit (his words, not yours) on him, but you just grin wider and lean your head in your hands, batting your eyes at him. "Come on, gotta keep an eye on me. Make sure I don't wander off and fall in the sea again." His eyes are suddenly wide, like you just told him the meaning behind all miracles, and you cringe back when he's suddenly glaring at you with the angry force of all the sea, hands clenching tight into fists before he crosses his arms over his chest.

"Funny you should say that; you still haven't told me what you were doin' in the fuckin' water." Wow, he's really mad. You must have really scared him for him to be _this_ pissed off. You look down guiltily, rubbing the back of your neck as you shrug slightly. He growls in his throat before snapping, "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?!"

"I don't know, I don't really remember..." You glance up at him, offer him a tiny smile, but when he returns it with a small snarl you cower back and sigh. "I guess I just fell asleep or something. I didn't mean to, sorry." You can feel the force of his glare on you for a moment more before he repeats what you said under his breath and groans, beginning to pace. You dare a glance up at him, relieved to see the anger in him seems to have all but drained out of his limbs, although the exhaustion that's taken over makes you feel even worse. "Aw, bro, c'mere." He shoots you a dark scowl over the top of his glasses, but you open your arms wise and motion for him to come to you, smiling when he huffs and storms over, plopping himself on your lap. You wrap your arms tight around his body, nuzzling your nose into his hair while his arms remain stubbornly crossed over his torso.

The pair of you are quiet for the longest time before he sighs, leaning himself against your shoulder and whispering against the skin of your neck, "You can't fuckin' do that again, Gam." You hum softly, questioningly, and he pulls away to look at your face, scowl fixed firmly on his face. You really wish he'd smile; you hate seeing him so angry. "You can't almost _die_ again, asshole! I really thought you were _dead_! Do you have any idea how terrified I was?!" You start to shake your head but pause, trying to put yourself in his position - well, not his position _exactly_, as he's a seadweller and therefore would have a pretty hard time drowning, but the point remains - and wince at the horrible feeling it gives you. So you nod instead, burying your face against his neck and sighing.

"I'm sorry, bro; I promise I'll take extra care not to accidentally fall asleep near the water again." He grumbles softly, but wraps his arms around your head and sighs anyway, nodding. You stay there like that for a while, just cuddling, and it's been so long since you've managed to get your snuggle on with _anyone_, least of all your matesprit, that you almost forgot how nice it feels. It makes you grin against his neck, and you giggle when your breath brushes over his gills, making them flutter. You've always found his sea-based anatomy fun, which he's called you an idiot for time and time again, but hey, you can't help it. He doesn't complain when you exploit your amusement in his favour, does he? The answer is no, no he does not.

He fidgets in your lap after a while, removing his arms from around your head so he can stretch, successfully pushing your face out of his neck in the progress. You laugh, looking up at him to see he's grinning back at you, just slightly, and the relief that washes over you now that you know - or are at least mostly sure - he's not still mad at you is heavenly. You pull him a bit closer, lifting your face so you can nuzzle your nose against his, and he flushes slightly and huffs when you ask him a question. Wow, he is such a cutie; it'd be hard to believe he could be so _terrifying_ if you didn't witness his anger yourself. "Can I have a motherfucking kiss?"

"I'm still fuckin' mad at you." He's grumbling, but despite his response he grabs both sides of your face and kisses you, an action you are _more_ than happy to return, and you can't help whining when he pulls away far too soon for your liking. You pout for what you're sure is the millionth time today - you like to think it softens him up a bit, but you're pretty sure it does jack shit - and he snickers, patting your cheek. "Don't pout; not all of us got a fuckin' nap after dragging your scrawny ass to shore. You're gonna have to wait until I get some much needed sleep." Despite his words he kisses you again, although the pressure of his lips is gone before you really have time to process them. You huff and frown up at him, and he grins before his brow furrows slightly. You tilt you head to the side, confused, as he drags his thumb over your cheek. "Hey, your make-up washed off."

"Aw, shit, no, really?" You frown, frustrated, and reluctantly let him go when he climbs off your lap. You're momentarily confused when he starts shedding his clothes, folding them carefully and placing them beside you on the couch with a snappy warning of '_touch them and die_', before you remember that right, he's tired. He's probably going to borrow your recuperacoon. You'll probably join him, because you're still kinda tired - apparently almost drowning is very exhausting, even if you're asleep when it happens - and it gives you the opportunity to snuggle. Actually, it gives you pretty much no choice; your recuperacoon wasn't really made for two trolls, after all, so naturally there will be little space. Not that you're complaining, and you doubt he is either.

"Well, what do you expect? You were in the water for _how_ long?" He looks really smug, like _he's_ the reason your make-up washed off. He probably wishes he was; he really hates it when you wear that '_greasy shit_', as he puts it, although you don't know why. You've never really cared to find out, though, because that'd lead to fighting and you don't really like fighting with anyone, especially not Eridan; too much effort on something that's totally lacking miracles. "Don't worry about it; you look better without that shit on anyway." See? Totally hating on your miraculous look for no reason whatsoever. You grin, though, because you're pretty sure he was complimenting you, which is a pretty rare thing coming from him.

You quickly decide to follow his example when he crawls into your recuperacoon, yawning, and strip your clothes off as quickly as you can, leaving them on the ground and ignoring his irritated order to '_pick that shit up, I just fuckin' cleaned you ignorant prick_' in favour of climbing in with him. He whines and grumbles and smacks you over the head when you accidentally crush him against the side of the confined space, but you just smile and nuzzle just below his fin, and he shudders and _melts_ in your arms, an aggravated growl escaping him as he begins to purr softly. Your smile grows into a grin, and you wrap your arms firmly around his middle, resting your head on his shoulder and listening to him sigh before he returns the hug, his nose nuzzling into your hair.

"Go to sleep."

"Mhm. Night Eribro." He grunts in response, kissing your forehead before you feel him relax, and you're sure he's asleep within seconds. You're kind of surprised, since he normally doesn't fall asleep so quickly (although you're not really sure how long it takes him to fall asleep, since you typically fall asleep first), but you decide to take advantage of the situation to listen to the little noises he makes while he sleeps. It doesn't really last long, though, because despite how much you're enjoying yourself you can feel sleep creeping along the edges of your consciousness, and you've never really been one to resist the calling of dreams so you let out a content sigh, press yourself closer to Eridan, and let the wave of black wash over you just as the Alternian sun begins to shine through your window.

* * *

**This was not supposed to be this long. This wasn't supposed to even be one thousand words. How the hell is it almost three times the length it was supposed to be? I mean, I'm not complaining, don't get me wrong, just... Yeah. I don't understand it.**

**I'm so _torn_ with this. Because I adore it (and I'm so happy to finally complete some EriGam, you have no idea), but I feel it might be a little rushed? But I don't know how to make it _not_ rushed without it being really long-winded and shitty and... Ugh xP Maybe I'm just being to critical. I don't know. **

**I'm still shit at ending stories, how the fucking hell do you end stories.**

**Also, Gamzee's dialogue pisses me off, you have no idea. I'm sure I fucked it up. Just... Ugh, Gamzee, why do you have to speak so strangely? **

**Okay, well, I'll end this here. I hope you enjoyed! Mwah!**


End file.
